These are clearly penguins of good taste; perhaps they chose this spot so they could appreciate the jaw-dropping beauty provided by views of the surrounding bay, but most likely it was the seafood (especially the pilchards, anchovies and mackerel).

Unfortunately humans are competing for their food supply, making the African Penguin an endangered species even though this particular colony is thriving in part thanks to the conservation efforts of Table Mountain National Park.

If you are among the lucky ones to be attending the 2010 World Cup matches in the area, you could do worse than to stop here. I took a few photos when I visited the site last month– click on the link below for a gallery of a bunch of flightless birds that discovered the Western Cape long before FIFA deemed it fashionable.

Click here for p-p-pics of the penguins!

You can also find out more about the colony by visiting this local tourism website.

Even for the guys and girls working in Times Square, myself one of them for a time in 2008, can have a hard time keeping their eyes from wandering the skyscrapers that fill hours of footage on the camcorders of so many tourist’s video cameras.

Not being a tourist in Times Square is key though.

The plasticized icons of corporate branding that serve food in Times Square are sometimes referred to as ‘restaurants’. These flashy behemoths serve food from cardboard boxes and charge on average USD$7 for domestic beers. Vendors, spying the expensive DSLR cameras (too often set to automatic) hanging around the typical tourist’s neck swarm like wild dogs around wounded prey looking for an easy kill and by the time you get from 52^nd and 7^th to 42^nd and Broadway most tourists feel a new found substantial lightness in their back pockets.

All this can be avoided by not being a tourist though. There are two components to this. The first is looking the part the second is acting the part. The easiest way to avoid the onslaught of vendors is to wear a suit and tie. This says, “I don’t buy anything West of Park Ave. and I’m just on my way to my flat on the Upper East Side anyways so don’t bother.”

For those of you not willing to don a suit and tie just to avoid the sales pitch by people selling everything from umbrellas to comedy show tickets to kakalash at least ditch the big camera around your neck, hip pouch and tilly hat. Don’t look around dazed and confused and walk hard and fast.

Walking hard and fast requires knowing where you are going. If you’re looking for a place to start not being a tourist check out Jimmy’s Corner.

Jimmy’s Corner on 140^th West 44^th street is a real salt of the earth place with enough seats along the bar for about twenty and tables of five or six more in the back. Beers are USD$3 and the owners, a family with a boxing background, are kind and happy to chat about the boxing paraphernalia that anoints the walls. Best of all the Pretzels are free.

PDG
Paris, France

If you are fortunate enough to stop for a bite in the City of Lights, you could grab a crème brulée with coffee or go soak in the 19th century atmosphere of the ancient Restaurant Chartier… or you could give the middle finger to French cuisine entirely and set up shop at PDG. This joint is so small, you almost want to keep it a secret for fear of never getting a table again. Last time I was there, the French movie star Romain Duris was munching on a cheeseburger at the table opposite… alone. PDG does its best to adopt a New York jazzy ambience, but what makes this place special is how it embraces French flavours: one of its most popular items is the Blue Cheeseburger (made with creamy bleu d’Auvergne) and the buns are delivered fresh everyday by an award-winning boulanger who lives in the neighbourhood. This is by far the best burger in a city almost devoid of decent American restaurants—but the lack of competition doesn’t prevent it from being world-class.

The original PDG is located at 8 rue de Ponthieu (a stone’s throw away from the Champs-Elysées, if you insist on being a tourist). There’s a newer branch at 5 rue du Dragon on the left bank, but its larger size comes at the expense of some charm.

St. Louis Burger
SAO PAULO, BRAZIL

This unassuming place serves up the best burger I have ever tasted, and is situated about 3-4 blocks downhill from the Avenida Paulista. I used to live about 100m away, and if I still was there I’d probably need a crane to lift me out of my apartment by now. Like the aforementioned PDG, the burgers owe a large part of their success to their light freshly-baked buns, but it’s the marinade that makes them a home-run. I tried asking the owner once how it was made, but his only response was an angry silent glare that would have seemed more appropriate to my attempting to seduce his mother. My personal favourite was the House Burger (standard trimmings plus pickles and the intriguing-yet-delicious “green mayonnaise”) washed down with a red berry lemonade that has to be the finest in the Southern Hemisphere. It seems that Brazilians have dealt an ass-kicking to Uncle Sam.

St. Louis is at Rue Batataes, 242 in the Jardim Paulista neighbourhood of São Paulo. Closeby is a large diner called America, which whilst being part of a decent chain, fails to live entirely up to its promise of authenticity.

The Counter
SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA

If the burger you eat at The Counter turns out to be shit, then you only have yourself to blame. This is because all they do is cook it for you—the arduous task of coming up with a recipe is left in the customer’s hands. Upon arrival you are handed a multiple-choice list of ingredients you may want to include in your favourite burger. Feeding one’s face has never felt this studious, especially if like me you end up thinking too hard about whether a handful of dried cranberries would make a good combo with the spicy sour cream topping. It’s possible to mull over the decision with an order of sweet potato fries (which should really be mandatory in any fast food joint), and when you are finally ready to make your decision there’s no going back—but let’s face it, who’s going to argue with your creative genius?

The Counter is actually a chain of burger joints largely based out of California. I chose the one at 2901 Ocean Park Boulevard in Santa Monica because it is fairly close to local landmarks such as the 3^rd Street Promenade and the pier.

JB’s Corner
JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA

The quest for many a good burger begins when hung over, and discovering JB’s corner was no exception. It’s a fact of Johannesburg life that all the best places are in shopping malls, but the setting of this place on a fake city square is actually quite tasteful, making it the only entry on this list where you can eat your sandwich al fresco—an ideal place to watch the world go by. The patties are all BBQ basted and served with your choice from a modest yet interesting set of toppings (from creamy peri peri to something called monkeygland sauce, whatever that might be). I went for the classic bacon cheese and avocado, a heartstopping melt-in-your mouth combo that erased my headache and put me at peace with the world again. Depending on how it works out for you, in the true South African style it’s worth washing one down with a few tequila shots.

Melrose Arch is an outdoor shopping mall. Just opposite JB’s Corner lies Moyo, a restaurant which serves African dishes from all over the continent and is very popular with tourists.

Burger King
LONDON, ENGLAND

OK, so I put this one in as a joke. But hear me out for a second, because this is the home of the most expensive burger in the world—the £85 recession-proof sandwich is made from Kobe beef, white truffles, onion tempura prepared in Cristal champagne and Italy’s finest Pata Negra prosciutto. I haven’t tried one myself, but Burger King claims it’s “the ultimate burger taste experience” and the thought of some freaked-out pimply student having to prepare this order in 65 seconds is just too funny.